I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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