Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
