ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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