I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just invented taco cereal.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone signed my nipple.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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