i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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