with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
