just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
