she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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