It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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