Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
