Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
