I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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