Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
