The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
