Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
