So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
