i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
