idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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