I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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