you would pick up someone in the library
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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