So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
