No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
