Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
