I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
