No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
