evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
