yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
