It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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