i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
