He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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