i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
