i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
