I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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