Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm having to shit out rocks
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