I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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