i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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