So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
