his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
