VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
