I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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