lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
