If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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