It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
