weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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