Dual....:-)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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