I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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