OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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