watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
being pregnant is like rehab
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
