erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
