Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
