I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
