he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
