my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and she was petting her beer can
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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