so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
