I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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