hell yes lets make some ravioli
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
