His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
