Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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