Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize