the condom got lost in my hair
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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