I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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