if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
