how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
