I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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