i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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