Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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