you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
