it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize