Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
