We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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