You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
