I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
